I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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