i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
