Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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