oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
God, I missed his penis.
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