Reggie can tackle my bush.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
