He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
