just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
