Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
