Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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