I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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