I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i think i just lost a toe
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize