They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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