he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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