I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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