So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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