Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
