Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
splinters make it hard to masturbate
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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