they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
