yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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