the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
