And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There r osticjed everywhere
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize