peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You pole danced in your parka.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize