Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize