I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
