Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
