I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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