Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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