Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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