If i come over, it means nothing
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
