Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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