Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
