I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
