Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I deserve this hangover.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
