I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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