2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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