He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
