That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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