she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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