No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
