I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am available for nakedness
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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