Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
