And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
