I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
