Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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