Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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