ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
