If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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