So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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