Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
