that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
