I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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