This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
