I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
