i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
