Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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