Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Come on in and take your pants off
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize