Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
