North Korea, Best Korea!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
