Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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