once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
