I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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