The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
