I'm eating all of the evidence.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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