Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize