I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
