I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
