Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
