I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
