Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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