The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
