It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize