That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's never too late to be topless.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
